My Eating Disorder is not….

* Les propos de cet article n’engagent que l’auteure et non ANEB. ANEB a offert l’opportunité à une personne présentement dans la maladie de s’exprimer sur ce qu’elle ressent en publiant le poème ici bas qu’elle a rédigé. Le texte a été publié dans son intégralité et n’a pas fait l’objet de révision de la part d’ANEB.

It’s not a diet nor a lifestyle or a senseless teenage phase.
It’s not stupid it’s not silly nor the latest weight loss craze.

It’s not a passion, not a hobby and it is not some twisted game.
It’s fatal, yes it’s DEADLY, it’s an illness of the brain.

It’s not fun and it’s not funny, not intentional not a choice.
It kills you slowly everyday and overtakes your voice.

It’s not my fault it’s not intentional, not some spiteful slight of hand.
It’s an anxiety driven fear based disease that too few understand.

It’s not a joke and it’s not selfish, it is the FURTHEST thing from vain.
It’s a drastic telltale of no self-esteem and unparalleled burning shame.

It’s not malicious nor dismissive, not distinct to middle class white girls.
It’s a disease like any other, ensnaring EVERY age, class, and race around the world.

‎It’s not uncommon, it’s not weird it dates back CENTURIES, nothing new.
It’s the single most fatal mental illness, which all statistics prove to be true.

Telling an anorexic to « JUST EAT » is like expecting a deaf person to JUST TALK.

‎Telling a binge eater to « JUST STOP ». Is like demanding a paraplegic to JUST WALK.

Telling a bulimic to « just eat normally » is cruel, ignorant and frustrating.

Telling an exercise addict to « just sit down » is like telling schizophrenics just STOP hallucinating.

‎This illness is biological, and genetic, it’s like cancer of mind and thought.

It doesn’t come from nowhere, you are either born susceptible or not.

‎If you think this is a ridiculous phase or that we’d be fine if we « just tried ».

Then explain to me the shocking rate of sufferers committing suicide.

If E.D.’s were just a choice or you think that we’re just lying.

Then why are millions desperate for help while millions more are dying?

© Amy Preskow, 2015